It was a regular morning on a regular weekend day. I was busy dunking bread in my coffee and staring at the luscious green grass and trees in the yard. I love this time of the day! No one to bother me and I can be alone with my thoughts whatever they might be. Today it was planning what mall to go to and what else on my shopping list I need to buy. Then I thought maybe it might take too long to buy the things I need that it will run into lunch time so I want to be able to go to one of my favorite restaurants. Wow! Two birds with one stone! Good job Momma!
Then suddenly it hit me! I am a mom now and I can’t do all of those things I was busy planning about in my mind. In fact it has been a while since I have gone to the mall, a clothing store, or the supermarket for that matter. The last time I went out was to hurriedly get Isaac’s prescription from the pharmacy. That was before Halloween when I swooped by the chocolate and candy aisle on my way to the pharmacy in the back of the store and bought $50 worth of junk! Then I had to come back home immediately because Isaac might wake up. I got home just in time before Isaac woke up. Isaac, Isaac, Isaac…
I only vaguely remember my past life right now. There was very little binding me to it. I have no contact with my former colleagues. Whether it was me or them who let go first I don’t even remember. I got so busy with taking care of Isaac I let everything fall by the wayside. I have no regrets whatsoever. My son is thriving and enjoying his time with me and I with him. All there is tying me to my former life are my friends who have been with me before Isaac, during Isaac and I know for sure in the future with Isaac. That is all that matters to me. Well, as of right now, that is. I am sure as time passes that I will want to go back to a semblance of my former self, whoever she may be. As I write this however, I realize that going back to who I was before would be a complete waste of time and effort. I enjoy being who I am today. A feisty, no- nonsense lady who will always protect and advocate for her son no matter what the cost. I have a deeper understanding of how and why people behave the way they do and I sometimes catch myself thinking or saying something that either my mom or my grandmother would say. I finally have imbibed some of their wisdom! That wisdom that only comes with age and experience. I never thought I would see things in a different perspective, you know. Youth is always full of arrogance. We think we know it all and we did not have to listen to our parents. I bet my grandmother is shaking her finger at me from heaven saying, “Remember what I told you!”. I remember indeed!
My life would not be complete without my son. I would have missed out on so many lessons and not have met so many people whose advice, experience, and wisdom made me who I am today. God knew what He was doing when he gave me Isaac. Thank you God!